I have had the entrepreneurial spirit since I was in my mid-20s. I have offered computer consulting/contracting services to numerous companies and it has been very successful - financially and educationally. My husband has semi-supported my entrepreneurial spirit and achievements. How do I encourage my husband to be more supportive of my(our) business?
- Vivian

When you find yourself asking this question, it's time for a tune-up on the inside. I too have faced this situation. When I examined my thoughts and feelings, I found it spoke more to the support I needed to give myself than anything else. This is a sign you're feeling a bit disconnected from your environment, or in this case, your husband. How we feel about things is not a steady state. It ebbs and flows. The desire to look to others for endorsement can be a warning sign that you are losing touch with yourself.

Reconnect. Reflect on all of the many successes you have had, both large and small, not only in your business but your life. This will give you a renewed sense of strength and flexibility and help you attract the external support you need. For example: Did you close a sale that you had thought impossible. Did you finally drop those last nagging pounds? Or perhaps you finally trained the dog to signal when he needed to go out. Or remember one day last week when you managed to get all of the things done on your "to do" list? These are absolute accomplishments, absolute confidence restorers. Why? They make you feel good and give a sense of renewal.

Ever observe the preparation of a marathon runner? His attention turns to himself. He trains his body and mind for endurance, strength and flexibility. His viewpoint is that his body, mind and spirit will be his sole support. He doesn't think about who will be out there to cheer him on. When marathon day arrives, he enters the race with his mind, body and heart ready to win. And standing all along the trail is a slew of supporters, not one of whom the runner gets caught up in. He has entered this race for himself -just like you entered your business for yourself.

Now, let's take a look at the supporters of the runner. He has several types. There are those who want a direct connection with our runner and run along the sidelines with him, while others are standing by to hand him cups of water as he dashes by. There are those who cheer for the runner and some who bring neither water nor loud cheers. Their contribution is to just "be there." Each plays his part in his own way to show his support for the runner.

The runner now shifts gears; he runs now not only for himself, but also for those watching and pulling for his victory. And just feeling that they believe in him is enough. Whether they are the water-bearers, the loud cheerers or the "be theres," a connection between the runner and his supporters is established.

Connection and support in a relationship also is a two-way street. Take time regularly to enjoy your life together away from the business. And don't discuss the business. Just enjoy each other. Think about all of the ways he showed support in your business and private life. Most likely you will discover that sometimes he was the water-bearer, and other times he stood on the sidelines and cheered you on. Sometimes he jumped in and ran the race with you. When you examine this, you will know his support for you crosses all barriers even when he can't display it in a way that you can recognize.

Your membership in business and professional organizations offers "real gems" - senior citizens and retirees. They have that "been there, done that" wisdom that can help you over rough spots. Many seniors want to "look out" for entrepreneurs, and they are good sounding boards when you are frustrated or need advice. Don't forget to seek out other entrepreneurs -for proposal writing, public relations, marketing, janitorial services and gardening -so you can save time.

From time to time, play the role of the runner. Build yourself from the inside out. And don't worry about the supporters. They will be there - when you need them, your spouse included.